Resources for connection in recovery

This weekend I had a triple dose of beautiful connections with the recovery community and my heart filled with joy. Two online support groups and one in-person social gathering combined to rejuvenate me in a new way. 

What happens when you get together with other sober people? 

In a support context, you don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. You know that noone there is judging you. Hearing stories that sound similar to your own fights shame. Telling your own story and hearing “me too” pushes the shame right out. You can talk about things you don’t get to talk about very many places and you can get ideas from people who’ve been there. 

In a social context, the differences are dramatic. There’s no expectation about drinking alcohol, there’s no questioning your choices, there’s no offer made requiring you to say no. There’s no slurring of words and you probably won’t hear the same story told over and over. People remain aware of social cues, conversation flows back and forth. At the end of the night people get themselves home safely. 

You may be thinking, that won’t work for me. I’m not like those other people. I’m awkward in social situations. I don’t like meeting strangers. I’m not going to share anything about myself. I understand all of those feelings, and I have felt them all myself as well. The thing is, human connection is actually essential for healing the pain that leads to behaviour like drinking alone. You’ll have to push past a bit of discomfort at the beginning, sure. Luckily I know you’ve got that skill because it takes a ton of that to get sober. So use your new muscles and get yourself to a gathering.