How many times have you heard "you just have to love yourself"? We know it's part of having happy sobriety, and a happy life overall, but what does it really mean? I've heard from so many clients that they get this advice from a friend, a therapist, or a coach, and their reaction is "well I don't love myself, so that's the end of the conversation."
Part of the disconnect there is love as a verb versus love as a feeling. We talk about love in many different contexts, but we don't talk about what that means, or how to do it. Try the actions in these four categories and you'll feel your own love.
Four actions to love yourself
First, Nurture yourself. Like a guardian caring for a child or a gardener growing new plants, we have to take care of the basics for ourselves. Make choices for the right nutrition, starting with grocery shopping, what you order in a restaurant, learning to cook new recipes. Send yourself to sleep when you need it instead of allowing just one more hour of TV.
Next, Connect with yourself. Listen to your internal voice and support yourself. Be your own best friend. Find your inner voice of wisdom, and let it guide you. Notice your own growth. Be as kind as you would to your bestie.
Next, Cherish yourself. Take note of special occasions and give yourself your favourite things. Let yourself dress in a way that feels fabulous to you. Take great care of your body and sensuously celebrate your skin.
Lastly, Prioritise yourself. Be your own boss, and take control of your life. Consider your goals and the steps to accomplish them. Set a schedule and stick to it. Know your to-do list and make progress on it. Equally important, know your don't do list, and find ways to delegate those tasks so they still get done.
The feeling of love towards yourself will come in time. You can bring on that feeling by showing yourself love through your actions. Treat yourself at least as well as you'd treat a lover, a best friend, a child, or a valuable employee.
Self-love actions are one pillar of the Full-Colour Recovery Program. Read more about the program here.
Fabulous, Full-Colour Recovery is possible for you.
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